22.02.06

2011-09-19T10:22:00.000-07:00

quiet quiet night.

People reflect and get emotional in the night.

Maybe it's time to stop awhile to look back and think a bit. Many things had been happening for the past few weeks. School started 6weeks ago. But what have I achieved till now? Hmmm. It's a high time to start work girl. As much as you want to bring joy to everyone, you need to start getting yourself fixed first. You have a week to do and prove it to yourself, and I know I can do it. Just please be on task. Before you want to do anything further, please please fulfill your duty as a student first.

Talking about this, I think I should move back home... As badly as I want to ignore this fact, I think I'm really imposing on Ella. Hmm. This is far more than accommodating ba. It is not like an exchange; last year we helped her, so she has the obligation. It is not like that. I mean, this should be the last thing friends are for right? (: I would not want the day to come where she has to tell us this in face. A great time for recess week (:

Anyway, I am really happy I made up with Tiwi. I must admit, when Ella was making her point, I do feel annoyed and reluctance to listen. But, ultimately, there is a possibility of truth and definitely her freedom to feel so right? As for myself, what matters ultimately is what I feel ba (: So, it's a high time to go home girl (: back to FOOT Comm the family ((:

I am in no position to make any judgement of anyone, but I am the best person to make myself happier (: If BingQiang could step out of his comfort zone to hang around all the maincommers just for us, why can't I just overcome my own thoughts? You're a brave girl, you can! (:

Take things slow and steady girl. Everything will fall in place so nicely you couldn't believe it. Just be patient and determined.

Prelude feelings for NCOC 2011

2011-05-23T07:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, I had been thinking.

I had been thinking what I've said these days, and what I've said last year. Last year, My stance is always from the top, looking downlwards. From the top, I want people to have faith in us. From the batch more junior than us, to our peers, to our seniors. I believe, it is difficult to place trust in people who are less experienced than you are. And even more difficult to follow the instructions from them. This is why we tried so hard, did so much, to prove to all of them.

This time round, I am back to where I used to be. After learning so much last year, I believe, my point of view changed a lot. All these while, I am thinking about how is the course timeline like, how is the application, how is the camp plan, how is logistics. It is only till two days before the briefing day which I finally thought that I should consider what I expect of my own trainees. I am being the person I despise. I stepped out of my boundary and poke my nose into else affairs. I am in wrong this time.

I remember scolding Gladys for influencing the instructors to go against the organizing committee. But today, I see myself doing that. I am such an idiot. Really asking for it. From the start, I am being very cynical at everything. Every single decision made by the chairman, everything that they want to implement this year. It is because I forgot to give the respect that is assumed from me. On top of that, I realize that I am trying to do the exact same thing, by influencing the trainers that way too. I am in the wrong.

I finally realize what is the problem. I continued to think of what is expected of a chair/ vice-chair. However, the fact that I overlooked was that I am no longer holding that appointment. I held the expectation, so what? That is the thing I cannot make a change about. Ironically, I forgot about the expectation a chair/ vice-chair have of the instructors. Which is something I can show a difference in. I can be a better trainer. And I know how. But it is a high time to do so now, Ros. Stop putting your expectation on other people. Put it on yourself instead. You will not be able to put blame on anyone this time.

Take responsibility of yourself.

My feelings for NCOC 2011.

I will be different by 29/05/11.

This is a promise.

This is for you.

2011-05-19T12:27:00.000-07:00

I found a new old friend.

I lost this friend a year ago.

But this friend was always on my mind.

I wanted too much as a friend.

Maybe this is the thing that went wrong.

Is it the distant that really mattered?

Or is it the concern that is important?

But anyways,

I managed to get this friend back two days ago.

Which was out of total randomness.

I really appreciate the feeling.

But I also know,

This time round,

This friend holds a total different meaning.

To me.

& to him.

Treat this new friend a new way.

Show the passion for a new found friend.

Show the care and concern as a old buddy.

Welcome back,

My friend.

2011-05-03T07:45:00.001-07:00

2011-04-26T19:17:00.001-07:00

I can make it,

as long as I want to.

mugger mates

2011-04-24T05:18:00.001-07:00

Created with PhotoShake

2011-04-18T03:07:00.000-07:00

WOOOOOHOOOOO!

ONE QUIZ OVER!:D

we have 18 days to start of FINALS and 24 days to its end!

IAMSOSOEXCITED!:D

had been quite lazy lately.

its time to cover up the gap!

maybe its the after-effect of completing a quiz,

i am feeling so highly motivated!

HAHAHAHHAA

8 mods

Effective comm (DONE)

Lab (DONE)

Programming

Thermody

Organic

Comm Studs

Maths

MARKETING

JIAYOUUUUUU EVERYBUDDY!:D

the sem break is gna be sooooooooo exciting!!

2011-04-15T04:42:00.000-07:00

THE CHOICE IN BETWEEN.

我忽然很享受一个人的清静。不用担心任何人的烦恼，忧虑。就像我没有事烦似的。一个人，也很好，没有负面的影响，连读书也很enjoy。我喜欢开开心心，但会这样想是不是代表我更自私了呢？

2011-04-08T05:14:00.000-07:00

I AM SO SHOCKED AT HOW TRUTH MAY BE.

how could people who is so close to you happen to be so different from what you think they are? Am I wrong to expose all my thoughts to readily?

I THINK COMM STUDIES IS AMAZING

2011-04-06T12:09:00.001-07:00

you dont expect a subject to teach you about how despicable a person may be. But comm studies did it all. and on the same day I experienced it real life. JOKE

2011-04-05T10:20:00.001-07:00

INCH BY INCH YOU FIGHT

AS LONG AS YOU DON'T STOP

YOU NEVER LOSE

STEP ON IT; FEEL THE BEAT

2011-03-21T20:16:00.000-07:00

WOOOHOOO,

TWO TASKS DOWN, FEW MORE TO GO!

this week is gna help me set the right pace!

jiayou!

THE WORLD IS MINE

2011-03-20T02:48:00.000-07:00

I have 15 mins before I have to start my revision for tmr's quiz. Hope I can finish the revision in time. Its been long since I'm behaving as such a last minute person. Seriously need some reflection upon this. It is horrible. Nonetheless, I really enjoyed this recess week if you ignore the stress felt by the mountain of incomplete tasks. I guess, the key is self discipline. Will be moving back to hall next week, so this will play a even greater part.

Things to complete:

1) Organic quiz

2) CS100 quiz

3) Formal lab report

4) Marketing case presentation

5) Matlab project

6) Marketing plan

You can do it.

anyways, yesterday was STEP UP RACE. I like the race singlet really!:D But I bet everyone's shirt is as smelly as mine. hahahah. Anyways, it was challenging to me, mainly the distance. thinking of covering 20+KM by foot, it seems so incredible to me. The greatest take-away other than the horrendous tan-line would be the experience with STEP DOWN!:D It is no doubt another great experience with rainbow (steven, wanrong, ella)

ok, 15 min up, talk about FOOT recce day and ASJAB trg next post:D

6 more days to FACom.

FIRST AND FINAL TIME

2011-03-06T11:30:00.000-08:00

The incident passed. This moment, when everyone perceived it as history. Nonetheless, every part of the conversations were kept in my mind. Everything she said, and everything he said. I told everyone I will walk out of this, I am finally doing this today, the last sleepless night. This is the first time I want to write everything out. &also the last time I would carry these thoughts with me. It is not easy to forget definitely, but I will.

Rainbow falls apart. Just like the naive dreams in our hearts. Nomatter how pretty those days were, you will not take advantage of them. I was told the truth. I really didn't want to doubt, but i couldn't convince myself. I felt guilty at a certain point in time. I thought I were to blame for being less for who I was supposed to be. I thought I failed badly as a friend. I thought I made the rainbow dream shatter. I lost all the confidence in myself, in giving, in receiving. I took the step I would never had taken. For my conscious, for my people I held dearly. These sane understanding didn't help, for I tried to force myself to be someone I am not. I lied to myself over and over, trying to convince into putting in the trust.

I think I have no stance to make any judgement on both of you today. But perception cannot be denied. I really want to put in the trust, but I never fail to insert a doubtful mark each time. I guess it is time to let go. I can't bring myself to befriend you over again. I do not want to get closer. Both of you stay where you are, that is my utmost comfort place. It is not that I do not give my blessings. Just that I am so disgusted with the doubtful thoughts in my mind. I don't know why till this day there are still things to hide. If that is in you, I could only say that I was in the wrong to bother so much, to care so much less about the others who deserve. I understand friends come and go by. I do not hesitate to reciprocate the love I felt. Similarly, I will not condone my foolishness to spend my effort on someone like this. Maybe this feeling is a two-way thing. As much as you may not believe this, I really treated you from the bottom of my hearts. There were no regrets.

I hope, I really do, that you will not carry any regrets either. &I hope one day when you needed someone to be there for you, you have a person. Though I am sure I will not be the one.

2011-03-06T11:12:00.000-08:00

go confidently, nothing stops you.

needed some inspirational quotes to keep me going in the long night.

pls study

2011-02-26T18:46:00.000-08:00

i know i'd perform below standards if i continue to be like this.

It is sure time to buck up now rosalind.

face the reality.

Hall alone.

2011-02-23T04:42:00.000-08:00

can't help but to feel kind of lonely in hall.

haha, got alot to do, but just that focus is always on the wrong stuff.

I believe everything will fall right into place.

just keep going, never give up((:

I'm determined, to quit the facebook visits.

all messed up

2011-02-14T04:09:00.000-08:00

I spent the entire those things.

I guess its enough already.

It is time to move on isn't it?

Tough time makes a man tougher.

2011-01-23T05:33:00.001-08:00

wahpiangeh, freaking emo.

friends.

why can't things be simpler?

wanting,

andrew,

eileen,

sophia.

It takes both hands to clap,

always remember that.

Be the hand that reaches out

2011-01-21T08:33:00.000-08:00

SCHOOL IS STARTING IN LESS THAN 2 DAYS!

TUNE YOUR MIND AND GET READY!

2 MORE IN TO-DO LIST!

FOOTCOMM COLLAGE

FOOT POSTER:D

2011-01-11T22:37:00.000-08:00

To give is hard, but do not underestimate how it feels to be the receiver.

2011-01-11T21:59:00.000-08:00

highly anticipated WWR:D

LOL, epic ttm, at bukit jalil station. visiting it for the third time in a week!

moments during KKB trip.

it was awesome, nice place, great company, amazing WWR.

there are indeed alot to learn through this trip.

seen alot, understood alot. acknowledged alot.

i understood myself more.

I detest attention seekers.

pls do not turn into someone I get annoyed with.

2011-01-10T03:34:00.000-08:00

woosh!

back from the two odac trips!

it was so great to be out camping, leaving everything unpleasant in sg.

first was Lata, and then KKB.

Lata was mainly a subcomm trip part 2

FOOT was there, ATC was also there, and some other public members.

there was FOUR WHEEL DRIVE!!! (4wd)

it was damn damn good!

it was totally like a roller coaster ride without seat belts

but the trek was more challenging.

sliding around the slippery rocks helplessly in cui slippers

with better shoes, i think i'd enjoy the trek much more!

nice experiences to know FOOT comm-ers better

wanting as usual, but there were also lai hui, dom, kenny and weicong

under the camp mood everything is different.

people talk more, people trust more.

i love it.

but there were also unpleasant experiences though.

interacting with more people let you see more

i detest attention seekers who act bimbotic and stupid.

it was quite an eyesore

however, i wld accept that different people do interact differently.

another one,

i still hold the believe that NTU ODAC do feel very family like.

this should be preserved.

unlike certain ones who try so hard to prove otherwise.

it would be you who will lose out at the end of the day

failing to appreciate these ties will cost you dearly.

okays,

next up: KKB!

this is really the best trip so far.

well, the White Water Rafting is really awesome.

like... seriously, haha

but whats more is the perfect company RAINBOW!

we talk, we crap, we laugh like there's no tomorrow.

the trip wouldn't be fun without all those.

endless boring train transits

long long larkin bus rides.

all these experiences will be different without you all!

though i admit we didn't interact alot alot with other people.

BUT, i really love it with you all around!

steven, yongjun and peaksiah were really great.

despite two newbies,

I really feel the effort they make to ensure everything is smooth.

they made every single participant felt so welcomed.

this is impressive.

much more tired than we are,

they stayed awake throughout the long train rides to ensure we don't overshoot stations.

they headcount like n times just to make sure no one's left behind

they're willing to go an extra mile to make sure we get to enjoy as much as possible

they weren't there as servants.

they were just displaying servant leadership.

i truly admire that.

they also had to pay for the trip

it wasn't like an obligation for them to treat us that nice.

the friendliness came from within,

you can feel it.

i want to be like that.

My 2010

2010-12-30T02:33:00.000-08:00

history seems to repeat itself.

friends who come so fast tends to disappear fast too.

two years ago, there was an exact same incident.

&there is from where I learn my lesson.

friends do come and go isn't it?

why take it so hard?

no matter how hard you try to hold them close to you,

you should see that one day they do drift and fall apart.

close friends are hard to come by.

and i agree that they require you to appreciate and hold them dear.

but you should see the side of truth too.

it is a cruel fact that they need to undergo the challenge of time before it strengthen.

dear family,

this is the first time in my life i'm staying away from all of you for so long.

adding on by the stress from school work,

there was time I really missed home till I dreaded to attend lesson.

though I came back and needed to pack up the house.

though I came back and needed to wash the dishes.

though I came back and needed to do the laundry.

I was very happy to do so. really.

but what saddened me most was the cold remarks I got.

maybe you two meant it as a joke. I think you do

but truly,

maybe you two can't understand,

how pain it feels.

but there's also heartening events, where I learnt to appreciate more.

no more taking it for granted when dage offers to fetch me home at 2am

smiling even brightly when daddy prepared 2 whole boxes of chicken essence for my examinations.

when mummy gives me random phone calls and messages that made my day.

I love you.

dear pris,

do take a big step back and review on your current stand.

family is something you really started to appreciate this year.

staying outside without family is a tough process isn't it.

luckily there's pris who showered you with love and concern.

I don't know how long we could remain close as friends,

maybe after the upcoming semester,

we could turn into close strangers like the few other random people.

but that just means that I have to appreciate her for the coming half a year I guess.

dear rainbow,

this group of people came into my university life largely because of pris.

really loved them.

there is where you find the care and concern when everyone depended much on one another.

I guess sometimes when you're feeling down,

what you really need is knowing that someone is there.

they're really a group of people,

you know always in school,

always ready to let you turn into them.

but recently,

there're some of them undergoing certain problems with family issues, with financial issues,

with studies and work.

really hope they'd all stay strong and breeze through all these hurdles.

till then, they'd then be ready to come back all together

and we can all go back to the endless fun we had.

take care.

dear buddy,

it has been long since we talked.

I still remembered how much we used to chat through our study session.

how much we share with one another.

till recently when we started to message, brings me back to that exact feelings I had.

but I am sure that time really brings feelings away.

university hectic social life made me almost forget you.

and I'm sure you had closer people to confide to now that you wouldn't need me.

but you really left an impact in me that I wouldn't forget.

hope the random greetings do bring you some warmth=]

dear dino club,

this is like the 6th year we know each other.

looking forward to the tenth anniversary yar:)

but what wengchan said really rang up my conscious.

maybe this is the bunch I most taken for granted for.

often I do leave you guys out of my schedule plan.

never once before I initiated an outing with you all.

it was always a gathering just to celebrate birthdays like a ritual.

but I believe,

this is just a cooling off period because of our long long friendship

just like long time couples.

a little reminder would be just the thing to bring us back to how we warmed up

in the hope that we would be better, longer, older friends.

Dear HPY,

I guess you guys must be as amazed as me how our relationship develops!

from seniors juniors,

to great friends that share no secrets,

turned sour as foe with all the cunning politics

till now when we all looked further than where we are

and here we are gathering again tomorrow.

2010-06-09T11:14:00.001-07:00

drafted my previous entry.
all my feelings throughout this course.
i love it alot alot.

ncoc 2010, with passion with pride.

Tried and Giving Up?

2010-05-27T09:22:00.000-07:00

NO.

it's so tempting to do so.

that'd be a loser.

it's okay,

there will be a change this weekend!

Press on!

they'd understand:)

get it done, leaving a legend!

Keep going. just keep going

2010-05-18T04:04:00.000-07:00

One week ahead.
I dont think its misunderstanding.
I think its a opposing interest kind of thing.
Its okay ros,
they'd understand.
Finally wouldn't be an issue.
Don't lose your objective,
don't lose your spirits.
It wouldn't kill you;
it makes you a better person.
Don't regret,
there's nothing to.
You're doing something you trust.
It's not a wrong decision,
its courage that doesn't come by often.

SEE YOU AT NTU!

2010-04-29T10:41:00.000-07:00

pls do not take what you enjoy now forgranted(:

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.

2010-04-21T10:29:00.000-07:00

LOL, tests for my students are coming up! its time to face the judgement time! i think i had become more patient. LOL. dont need anyone to agree with me:D

Life had been quite mundane, just that meeting the crazy girls more lately. Actually, i have a feeling that i've been taking all these quite forgranted. It is of course not that i'm taking any sides. I do not, and will not. I understand that these bonds are fragile. Extremely fragile. It may be because of the meetings that brought us closer. Which means this may be the only chance i have to foster the ties. I'm tired of all the awkwardness or the dread to attend sj stuff. I want to have that feeling back. That feeling where you never get bored or burdened to do all the shit, travel to bloody beach road, ironing that flimsy uniform that is supposed to stand. Although there's always hpy. But it seems like everyone's getting tired. Everyone's starting to move on. Maybe it is not realistic or practical to hope for no change. And I'm actually hoping for new change. Hoping for a change in this hostile environment which makes nothing move on at all. Friends are one of the last reasons why i'm still energetic to be involved. I'm not that sort who have noble goals to preach outstanding young leaders. I'm not that sort who wants more metal pieces on the shoulder for glamour. I only wish for an avenue where you enjoy doing things that may not worth alot accompanied by many laughter.

It is a step out of the comfort zone. It is difficult. But I'm sure it is possible:)

sleepless night.

2010-04-13T10:40:00.000-07:00

when your day is bad enough, it only gets better:)

GO AWAY

2010-04-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

STOP ERODING MY DRIVE
negative energy is building up around me
im getting more and more suay
shit,
i want my luck back!

TRUST.

2010-03-28T10:35:00.001-07:00

this is a big word,
carrying a hell lot of expectation.

I WISH TO BE A MILLIONAIRE

2010-03-23T10:37:00.000-07:00

how i wish that im a millionaire
who doesn't even need to look at price tags while shopping.
point and go! LOL
dreaming.
well,
everyone is materialistic.
at least more than 90% of the singaporeans.
we may not be to the extent of doing everything for money,
but we gear our lives towards that same common goal.
how many people actually work solely for the monthly paycheck,
which wld have been reserved by their unlimited desires.

I am no exceptions either.
gearing up to work again after less than one week break.
for a simple reason,
bank balance running low. LOL
as I've planned,
its time to take up tuitions!
to pave for my uni expenses.
currently having 5 students or maybe 6
ranging from primary sch to O levels..
time to work on my schedule!

well,
looking at the taiwan trip in june,
& a ncoc retreat trip in planning,
i guess i sld start saving very hard
therefore,
putting off the idea of buying this.

:( really find this DAAAAAAAAAAMN CUTE la!
its an iphone cover if you didnt realise.
well,
it doesn't matter anyway.
LOL.

though its not exactly ex,
but BE PROUD OF ME!
resisted the temptation!:D

2010-03-22T21:14:00.000-07:00

I had a dream,
it is so beautiful,
so sweet,
that I am reluctant to wake up the next morn.
But then,
that is also when you realised,
it's just a dream.

it came and passed

2010-03-07T08:44:00.000-08:00

WOOAHOO
the judgement day came and passed.
5th of march 2010
the first time i cried out of joy
honestly speaking,
quite surprised by my results.
one word, overjoyed.
2 years of jc finally walked to the end.
at least it left me with the brightest smile
it's AAA/AC.
well, i couldn't have hoped for more:D

last day as 0812b,
most in the class did quite well
with most As and Bs
NOONE FAILED GP!:D
NOONE FAILED ECONS!:D
greatjob everybody!

fulfiled my promise to myself
and gotten an iphone the very next day
HAHAHA, happily playing with it now.
in case anyone not informed,
i've changed a new number.
and i just forgotten what is it. zzz

stop & think.

2010-03-02T04:54:00.000-08:00

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heavens

how true is this?
hah, blessed are the naive, who're able to live in automated denial.

i have a truck-full of complains in my mind now.
thoughts that i wouldn't believe that'd come from myself.
it feels disgusting.
how one person may be so hypocritical.
so hypocritical, yet full of himself.

maybe i'm the ignorant one.
but for what i know,
maybe not enough to remain unaware.

I'M A SURVIVOR!

2010-02-26T10:19:00.000-08:00

wooohooo! back from one week of war!

now i totally understand why people tell me admin isn't the job for me
it feels like a rat in a cage, with the round thinger that it runs in.
its an endless chase,
we're trying to complete something that nobody wants to touch.
in fact, noone bothers to touch.
maybe that is why they're hiring temps to do it.
but i certainly think a computerised system could do our one month job in a click.
it is certainly boring.
and the people are so so so not friendly.
nothing like euyansang.
its that feeling that you're totally redundant there.
lucky for jass working together.
we will pull through!
we must.
sweet potatoes, not strawberries!

maybe i just need to learn the working attitude from my sis.

anyway,
had shopping session with her today,
after work, when we totally feel like champions!
to beat the idea of quitting the job at second day of work.
LOL.
went on shoes spree.
super happy.
and jass! i didnot regret!
at least not yet.
that shoe won compliments!
even i told my mom the price, HONESTLY!
LOL.
happy happy happy!

new job; day ONE

2010-02-22T04:47:00.000-08:00

today's a new start!
started the job at Singapore Business Federation (SBF)
another temp job, thanks to ms priscilla tan!
one month, just in time for me to settle the uni admission thinger.

today's quite good,
thanks to hard-core training in eys,
used to typing contact details the entire day.
LOL
mainly just this ba,
this two jobs are almost the same ba,
just that i still think people in eys are much much friendlier.

but there're much more entertainment working in busy tanjong pagar!
shopping malls to fill our time during lunch break!

apart from the not-so-exciting first day of work,
also had a fun-filled weekend!
sat was spent with 12b
started with mj &wii at ahjiao house.
andden there was this mad rush to get to aaron's place in time to prep for the class reunion dinner.
ohgod,
im really thankful for all who made the effort to come down which made this reunion dinner a success.
really got the feel! with like 2nd highest record of 16?
hahahahahah!
esp the girls who were there to prep up the steamboat food
felt quite sorry as it wasn't the plan to trouble them.
the guys shld have expressed some form of appreciation to them! LOL
ended off at a high note, with mass blackjack session
&even higher for jass.
HAHAH, im sorry!

andden there is sunday
had family dinner with yiyi back from sydney
she changed quite a bit yeah.
hahahahahaha
had super nice lunch before meeting dino group at wc house
play mj again. talked alot.
nice reunion, except missing minli!

先放手，等一下我才救你！

2010-02-18T01:01:00.000-08:00

A so-so movie ba. with usual jiemei men. LOL

anyway, i've gotten my next job! so my first super short job interview was of a purpose. haha, starts work next week, busy like mad again. wanted to rot at home for some time. well, got used to it alr. maybe its a good thing instead? keeps myself busy &experience more new things. oh, did i mention? working with jass, AGAIN. HAHAH

the cny mood this year is still burning! having mahjong session with yy co. tmr, reunion dinner with my jc class! &&bai nian with my dino co. hohoho.

on the last note, march is coming. WOOOOAHOO

i'd not cry on that day.

i'd laugh and scream in joy.

i'd call up my parents with good news.

i'd demand my meal from lawwaicheung.

i'd congratulate my pals.

i'd have good news to spread!

I do not like unappreciative people a lot. Talk is cheap.

2010-02-16T09:46:00.000-08:00

2010-02-11T06:07:00.000-08:00

work is fun.
yet draining.
great enough to make me not high about anything that happens.
anyway,
its ending soon!
getting my life back.
HAHAHA

its CNY soon!
it'd be the first year i give my mom an angbao!

2010-02-08T06:17:00.000-08:00

I THINK I'M SICK TOMORROW.
HAHAHAHAH.
I'M REALLY SOOOO TEMPTED TO TAKE LEAVE AND ROT HOME TMR.

it seems difficult to strike a balance between anything.
i think, this time of the month is giving me serious hormonal imbalance
resulting in awful paranoia
doing nothing seems to be right.
&that makes me feel like throwing everything aside.
but,
i still want to make a change.
then, i must change.

我好想念你，我好想念念书，是一种无虑的解脱。
我忽然好想躲在一角落，静静地回想过往。
你是一种精神支柱
take a deep breath, keep your calm & cool

2010-02-06T09:19:00.000-08:00

am i bothered by the slightest thing regards to this big issue?

2010-01-25T06:43:00.000-08:00

hahahhahhaha.
you amaze me.
once is coincidence,
twice is luck,
third time?

things are good at work:D
things are not good inside me.:(
things are not bad at sj projects side.:)

i thought leaving it aside for long enough it wouldn't stir up anymore emotions.

ps. now i can type THE MANAGEMENT & STAFF in 5seconds without any mistake

I WANT TO SLEEEEEEP!

2010-01-23T10:52:00.000-08:00

morn 3am now.

the only reason not sleeping is cos i cant freakin wake up ltr.

LOL.

going hq tmr,

talent time plus meeting.

hohoho.

will have an interesting time man.

first day at work, photo with jasslam while waiting for our shifu to pick us up,

while gladys went in to start work first!

off to do sth to keep me busy till 7am!

!@#$#%%#@!#%^&&%$#@!@#$%%

I WANT TO SLEEP AT 8PM TMR NIGHT!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA

I FOUND SOMEWHERE THAT LET ME TYPE IN CAPS ALL I WANT!

2010-01-22T08:15:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHAHA.
FIRST DAY AT WORK!

admin work.
typing delivery orders at eu yan sang!
kind of still excited about it.
looking forward to the hectic monday

but it can get boring at times!
sld brainstorm for fun stuffs to do!

NEW.

2010-01-20T08:27:00.000-08:00

did away with that spas blogskin.

LOVE EACH NEW DAY:D

MONEY MONEY MONEY

2010-01-20T03:08:00.000-08:00

SHOPPING IS NO FUN WITHOUT MONEY!

had been splurging recently.
seeing a hole in the wallet is when you feel the after effects.
went out meeting people instead of working this week.
other than the usual tuition schedule,
met up with the class, &beatrice co.

went prawning!
first time ever in my life.
hahahhahhahah.
i bet im not the only one!
it was quite fun,
but the price ain't real worthy.
nonetheless that was a great experience!
tried meddling with fishing rods.
prawn-ed prawns. LOL
held live prawns
&even killed them.
sort of disturbing at first,
but i'm strong!
LOL.
at least i did shortened their sufferings! heh.
caught up with pals that i didn't meet in a long long time
like jon &yj
&crapped with the others too.

after so many gatherings,
i've learnt something.
the turnout may seems like always the usual few,
the number may not be amazing.
but its the thought of these few who bothered to participate that counts.
&being persistent &bothered by those who didn't come or reply only makes you enjoy less.
not only does it discount the effort of the organiser,
it dampens the whole morale.
i'm quite impressed by the number of gatherings we have actually.
HEH.
hopefully, we'll still have enjoyable meetups when the girls start donning working wear,
&the guys drops their precious hair.

afterthat,
i could only recall meeting up with beatrice &jass.
&&we RECONCILED with jojo at a random florist.
HAHAHAHAHAHH
i tell you, i'm laughing to the comp when i'm typing this.
anyway.
caught daybreakers then.
it was a ... movie bah.
like, about a vampire world?!
sort of lack abit of sense.
LOL

andden it's a birthday celeb for jojo &beatrice today.
had superduper heavy lunch
&off for a movie. -the morgans.
entertaining show,
loads of xiao dian,
just lack a lil content.
not to mention, we were laughing so hard
for the only reason,
we were the only three in the theatres.
HAHAH

HALLELUJAH

2010-01-18T05:58:00.000-08:00

HAD AN OMG SHOCKING EXPERIENCE TODAY!
LOL
SO DAMN FREAKING FUNNY.

next two weeks will be filled up!
&&going to organise an iceskating outing!
ho.
MAY EVERYTHING GO NICE!

2010-01-12T07:23:00.000-08:00

HELLO HELLO HELLO!

it've been a messy period man.
had been all over sg for the past few days.
but quite happy!
the only horrible thing is that damn adult fare.

had been working or meeting people.
saw loads of familiar faces at work!
well, met zeni before she's back to indo!
caught up a lil with mijun.
met the guys plus ahjass before clive goes into army!
plus lly together in the outing! wooooah.
that was an amazing meetup!
shes like ddddddddddamn on man.
HAHAHA.

&&&settled another work deal!
thanks to crazyPRIS!
working with ahjass summore.
that funnypinkpanther!
LOL

okayyyyy!
time to sleeeeeeeeep!
tmr meeting longtimenosee beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeatrice!

2010-01-06T10:16:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHHAA,
OKAY,
I KNOW THIS IS A FUNNY SKIN

2010-01-06T09:10:00.000-08:00

BOOOM.

time to look for a new blogskin to start the year!

have been keeping myself busy with anything but working.

HAH, how come finding work seemed so easy for everyone but me?

LOL. but i guess i'd join those people soon!

my dad doesnt want to support me anymore. :(

HAHA, i'd just leave me to die much earlier if i were him.

he kind of believes its a long term investment!

HAHAHHAA, quite a reliable one k!

well, although i'm like not having a stable job now,

i sort of enjoy the way it is now.

i get control of my time and do what i desire.(:

hah, sounds like a willful spoilt brat who nvr needs to earn for your spendings right?

anyway,

update on life!

the sec ones are coming in again!

my sis's also a secONE this year =x

anyway, series of orientation is getting started!

hope we dont get funny people this year!

&& this is for the first time i get my lousy motor started and chiong projects!

first one is the zone cohesion!

planning stage's almost done when we entered the commitee,

in fact, we just had our first meeting just now.

working with many people this time,

many of which are out of my comfort zone,

but it really feels new and great!

hope it'd be smooth sailing!

new year,

new resolutions!

nomore major exams, a apparently relaxed year!

BUT i guess,

this year demands loads of life skills.

i'd love myself more!

&love the ones around me more!

this reminded me..

clive talked to me about an interesting mind earlier this week.

something about hypocrisy.

wanting to make everybody happy makes you a hypocrite.

but can it be a genuine desire?

or is it just people trying to be appear saint?

2010-01-02T23:02:00.000-08:00

ITS 2010!
the beginning of a new decade!
first year that we dont need to prepare for sch
LOL

spent the countdown at home lying on the bed down with a fever.
but still joined them on the first!
followed by weiting's 21st party
tried my first time being drunk
went crazy &did LOTS of stupid stuff.

well,
i kind of have a strong sense of relief now
i have nomore secrets.
HAHAHA.
nomore!
&everything is set with the end of 2009.
&much things will be much better in 2010!:D

2009-12-26T05:21:00.000-08:00

this chapter will be closed
together with a proper closure of 2009.

2009-12-25T09:32:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
CHRISTMAS IS A SEASON OF JOY AND LAUGHTER
TO LET EVERYONE YOU LOVE TO FEEL IT
SPREAD THE LOVE TO EVERYONE YOU CARE
IT IS ALL ABOUT THE JOY OF SHARING
TIME TO PUT DOWN THE UNHAPPY STUFF
BEFORE YOU MOVE ON TO A NEW HAPPY YEAR

2010 WILL BE A GOOD YEAR:D

2009-12-25T08:52:00.000-08:00

GINGERBREADMAN DAY! -23RD DECEMBER 2009

WOMAN IN ACTION! OLDIE FRIENDS PRE-XMAS MEETUP

long-time-no-see friend, STRETCHY!

emo-kid always- SOPHIELOW!

siaozharboh- SEEPEIJUN

mybeloved- CHERYLONGGG

OPPS!
CANT FIND EILEEN'S SOLO!

below are the stars of the gathering this time!
GINGERBREADMEN!
plus sidekick- double choc cookies!

my fav 杰作！

MY CLASS BESTIES!
not all la, but the few that attended the gathering afterwards!
all had their own special symbolic feature on it!
hope they loved it!:D

&& these are the special few!
the right one's to cher by me!
sexayyyy! LOL

23rd was also class xmas meetup plus wj bday gathering
waiting for ahjass to upload photos!
had a not bad time talking crap!:D

2009-12-18T04:53:00.000-08:00

not everyone may have that second chance

2009-12-16T10:03:00.000-08:00

koped from jass's blog.

their prom pic.

LOL.

a different look from everyone.

hahahaha

i'd miss them(:

2009-12-16T08:35:00.000-08:00

picnic with the girls,
marina barrage,
16/12/09

here are the pics!
one of the few times im willing to upload photos.
LOL.

long time since we've last met.

simple and fun gathering.((:

2009-12-13T09:45:00.000-08:00

yooohooo,
back from korea(:

2009-12-03T09:37:00.000-08:00

anyway,
met up with my hpy today
without hp.
no full strength.
sad.

omg.
i was bored &started looking at my archives.
there were no drafted posts in the past.
but overwhelming in number recently.
hah,
horrible coward.
ros,
you have 10 days to make a change.

2009-12-02T21:23:00.000-08:00

26 hours away from korea!
LOL, not exactly though,
transiting at shanghai first.

anyway,
meeting up with hpy ltr.
long awaited gathering.
like since hp left for taiwan?
daaaaaaaaamn long.
feel so good that everyone's actually looking forward to it.
its nice to know that there are always these frds who'd nvr stray
they've been waiting &waiting,
for us, the poor jc students to be done.
last group of frds that i meet before leaving.

the class bbq was just over.
it was nice,
so not the food part,
but cos almost everyone came.(:
when we were playing indian poker,
then, i actually realised that so many were there.
like.. 18?
everyone was like so high after leaving the pile of notes man.

although no photos,
i think i wont forget that day man.
joking ard,
preparing the food,
playing mahjong,
bbq,
movies,
daidee,
honest talk.

but i guess,
maybe, probably,
this wld be one of the last gatherings as a class.
at least, it all ended on a high note.
&& now everyone's preparing for their prom!
hope i get to see glamorous pics!:D

two years ended.
i've sent my thanksgiving to the few i really felt indebted to.
they were heartfelt words,
some came out only cos i was too tired to process properly after a sleepless night.
maybe that is the courage, that's hard to learn.
anyway,
most replied me,
coincidentally,
not the two that held special meaning.
but its okay.
at least, i'm sure
you've read it &knw that you're well-appreciated.

so long,
farewell

2009-11-30T02:52:00.001-08:00

finally done.
you and me too.

put it down,
put it behind(:

2009-11-28T06:29:00.000-08:00

get out of my life.

2009-11-26T22:35:00.000-08:00

the worst feeling isn't being lonely;
its being forgotten by someone you would never forget.
- Author Unknown

2009-11-26T04:29:00.000-08:00

after all the whining about completing this last journey,
its just one last step away.
last paper left.
4 days away
another 4 days away from korea!
wooooah.

after the last paper,
it'd be class bbq!
then hweepeng's place stayover
and then off to korea!

2009-11-25T02:48:00.000-08:00

back to square one.
be smart this time.
stay clear-minded.

2009-11-20T08:36:00.000-08:00

somehow,
i secretly hope that,
these few days pass slower.
hahahaha.

cos,
i know,
there's a high chance,
things'd be different.
once after 30th.

dare not think beyond.
only if i had more guts.

2009-11-17T02:12:00.000-08:00

follow your instincts.
which leads you to doing something
totally irrationale.

coming too close.

2009-11-09T03:01:00.000-08:00

this is so not the time to take the fatal exam.
well,
what has to come, will come

2009-11-01T01:54:00.000-07:00

preparing for the last lap.
jiayou everyone!

have faith in yourself.

2009-10-23T08:53:00.000-07:00

graduation day

just back from class dinner.
was a nice one
probly the most successful so far.

21 people,
one word each

yirong, gentle
yongxin, cute
jassmine, loud
miaohui, informative
yanwen, blur
yuejiao, chirpy
aaron, witty
chernyee, funny
joshua, monkey
jonathan, bestie
sidd, tall
haidar, happy
kenneth, skinny
clive, power
kevin, xiaodi
ravin, giant
weijian, buddy
cheltton, on
timothy, joke
jingxian scary

0812b.

2009-10-18T01:35:00.000-07:00

the challenge is twenty days away.
it is just another hurdle,
take a leap,
and it'd be over and done with.
we've all been there, done that.

last week before graduation day.
two years,
not so long, neither is it short.
amongst the hectic revision schedule &exam stress,
i hope we dont take things forgranted.

i am greatful to everyone i've met.
everyone who changes me,
or made me change.
my class may not be a blast,
may not be the best,
but we interact within in our own unique way.
i must admit
there were times it didnt feel like a class at all.
but ultimately,
you'd know,
there's always people who cares.
people who care whether you're coming to school.
people who care whether you're slacking off.
people who care why you're feeling down.

this is not something to be taken forgranted for.
not an obligation for anyone to cheer you up.

first,
an expression of gratitude to two people.
they may be just a passing cloud across my sky
yet,
they stood closest to my deep inner self.

you made me hate myself.
i did take things forgranted.
may be this is a punishment.
you were this close to me
the last person i'd expect to lose.
before i can to my senses and realise things are wrong,
i have already been replaced.
when i realised you've changed the person you confide to,
i know it is irreversible.
i only hope the best for you at this moment.

you impacted me the most in the past 6months
completely no clue of whether is it a good or bad notion.
i behave abnormally that even myself dont expect.
exceptionally vulnerable to any tiny, unintentional expression.
at the same time,
you made me expect myself to be even stronger.
though there are time of dissapointment from your indiiference,
there were accounts of unexpected pleasant surprises too.
first time i articulated my genuine felts to a friend.
it was because of you.
emotion may be on a rollercoaster ride.
but yet,
many things cannot be expressed.

as simple as it may seem,
it is difficult to bid farewell.

2009-10-10T20:17:00.000-07:00

顺起自然

2009-09-27T09:41:00.000-07:00

笑一笑，烦恼不见了。

要是大家都不用张大不就好吗？
连哭都不许要理由。

2009-09-25T07:36:00.001-07:00

set your goal,
make it meaningful.
let it be true.

2009-09-20T04:00:00.001-07:00

HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY CHERYL ONG!

hohoho,
just finished kuku ij paper.
still got econs to go!
one more week of prelims
then its the homework chionging time agn.
gahhh
but before that,
meetup sessions!
woooooooooah.
LOL

prelims endinggggg!
大家开心一点！

__________________________________

要想开，一秒钟就行了
不是吗？

2009-09-14T19:55:00.001-07:00

exam day!

luck is a skill(:

2009-09-12T07:49:00.000-07:00

When someone holds a grudge against you,
it teaches you that everyone makes mistakes.
When you are wronged,
the most virtuous thing you can do is forgive the offender without pretense.
Forgiving those who have hurt us is often
the most difficult and painful of life's experiences,
but it is also the most courageous thing a person can do.

find the courage

2009-09-10T06:47:00.000-07:00

worry about the truth that catches up with you later.

focus,
prelims2 is on the way.

大家加油：）

可能我跟本没有必要为你担心，
但，只愿你不会放弃。

这种没完没了的游戏，
我没有兴趣。
一再的猜疑，
让我精疲力尽。
对你一再的期望，
只留下不好的映像。
我讨厌后悔，讨厌失望。
这一切根本没有个结果。
我决定，
彻底放弃。

2009-09-05T07:03:00.000-07:00

i dunno when what went wrong.
but i still have faith.

&thats why im still waiting.

2009-09-04T05:48:00.000-07:00

today's a day like visiting the past.
went back to anderson.
its been long since i get involved in sj stuff.

before i enter,
there had been this bugging feeling.
like visiting somewher very distant.

somehow,
things did change.
for the better in my opinion.
maybe its me,
maybe its reality.

but now i face this problem again.
something called
dilemma.
_________________________________________________________

when i didnt dare,
i know things have changed.
we've changed.
i've became weaker.

2009-09-03T04:52:00.000-07:00

ROSALINDTAN,
remember to count your blessings.

&&&&&its time for work!:D

2009-09-02T04:27:00.001-07:00

a short and quick update!

GP PAPER ENDS TODAY!

although its totally not welldone,
im super glad its over ok.
for the first time in this two years
i MUG for gp.

ok.
i only got myself to blame for failing then.
HAAAH.
nvm!
the worst is ovvvvver!

now its time to work my ass of for the next FEW PAPERS.

i suddenly think,
MAYBE i'm going to miss sch.
its like 2 more months till A's?
plus almost one month dealing with prelims2,
2 weeks of study break.
tada.
we'll all go separate ways.

dear class,
a unique bunch.
filled with nonsense people.
nomatter how jialat innova seems,
we're still hopeful,
mug like mad.
to get our ass out of here.
jiayou everyone.
dont give up.
you haven lost anything yet before any A lvl paper.

yes man.
let's do this.

2009-08-28T09:07:00.000-07:00

how true is this?

most guys are unappreciative.

very.

2009-08-22T20:33:00.000-07:00

time and again,
there'll always be people
who'll prove to you
its wrong to place trust on him.

2009-08-18T06:45:00.000-07:00

take a deep breath;

its no big deal[:

2009-08-16T07:45:00.000-07:00

the view from far may seem flawless;
so beautiful that you wants to get closer.
until you see the imperfect within;
none of the sweet impressions lasted.

man always forget to count his blessing
once he gets too fortunate.

2009-07-24T03:02:00.000-07:00

we talk more,
yet communicate less.

how ironic it seems.
_______________________________

2009-07-19T08:22:00.000-07:00

TRY IT.
LOL.

2009-07-18T09:32:00.000-07:00

Flatter me,
and I may not believe you.

Criticize me,
and I may not like you.

Ignore me,
and I may not forgive you.

Encourage me,
and I will not forget you.

Love me,
and I may be forced to love you.

-William Arthur Ward

2009-07-14T06:57:00.000-07:00

boohoo.
plan for tmr.
get rid of the messy table cos of damn prelims
&start getting on momentum to mug.

read sth from jon's blog just now.

let your family be proud of you,
the next 4 months of shit is nothing.

yeahman.
thats the way.
what's needed is concentration.
&focus.

____________________________________________

this is what i feared.
failure to be emotionally independent.
hahh.

2009-07-12T08:29:00.001-07:00

LOL.
it's been damn long since i came here.
had prelims.
one of the worst exams ever taken.
horrible two weeks of brain strain.
damn.

but we all survived!
something more special about exams period this time round.
had a pacer with me.
pulling me through quite a difficult time on the way.
mutual encouragement and morale booster.
:]

all in all,
its all over.
and the nightmare still follows.
this week is going to be demoralising.
anyways,
what will be, will be.
_________________________
had a superb weekend after the boulders of stress released.
fri went over to meet char aft the last paper.
went shopping at tampines1.
nice.
spent like 70odd i think.
damn xin tong.
BUT.
the good news follow behind alright.
was supposed to meet cheryl &gang on sat.
andden zeni in ltr afternn.
but accompanied my mum in the end,
so everything else had to go.
BUT. no regrets man.
nothing can beat shopping with your mum.
thats called shop without worries man!
complete sponsorship
hohohohoho.
it feels even better than christmas or new year.
LOL.

2009-06-20T10:04:00.000-07:00

读书没有那么可怕过
只愿
大家一起加油吧！=D

2009-06-19T09:19:00.000-07:00

nomore silly urges(:

urge and courage of foolishness
Doesn't come by often.
Doesn't die off easy as well;
but when it eventually does,
Let it be without regrets(:

end the chapter

2009-06-19T04:29:00.000-07:00

what's the big deal?
Laugh it out loud :D

2009-06-13T05:35:00.000-07:00

here to wrap things up.
sld be studying!
hahahhhahaa
ncoc'09 ended.
quick and short one.
started nicely, ended nicely.
it had been really great coordination i must say.
except for the part when you have to leave camp halfway for GP?!
HAH
anyway,
group this year called
SPONGEBOB
that weird miaozhen suggested the name
group with the largest strength that everyone envy
HAHAHHAHHAH.

anyway,
the weirdest thing in this ncoc is probably that hp's not in the committee.
its like damn weird laaa.
hahahah
but end of the day
she still sneaked into the camp to join us for the fun!
YES! LOVE YOU HWEEPENG!

LOVED this photo alot.
but still lack JL and CK
this is an old photo,
chingay i think
dunno whether i posted it before.

anyways,
this project will probably be the last one this year.
promised my parents.
mugging have to catch up.
nomore time.
with ck enlisting,
with hp going overseas,
everyone's getting busy.
i'll miss you guys alot alot.

sometimes,
understanding but not convinced.
do happens.
that's why you're still constantly in my mind.
which is frustrating,
distracting me.
your indifference disappoint me.

2009-06-03T23:15:00.000-07:00

INTEGRATION DRIVES ME CRAZY!

2009-06-02T05:13:00.000-07:00

BOOHOOO.
I MISS MAHJONG VERY VERY BADLY NOW!
LOL
met pris just now when she's on the way to YY house for MAHJONG session!
gahhhhh

supposed mugging period at home turned into a disaster.
LOL
thinking of what they say about studying TEN HOURS a day?
hmmm, a bit off target for now.
but still,
better late than never:D

tmr wld be the day SPONGEBOB kids having their theory paper.
hope 100% clearance eh.
if not POP wld be a prob.

OOHHHHHHHHHHH,
tmr is the day to go back sch,
hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
& WATCH NIGHT AT MUSEUM!
=D

is there a need to behave this way?
hostile kid.
hah, WHATEVER.

pls prove me wrong

2009-05-29T05:57:00.000-07:00

sometimes,
its because of
your expectations,
your far-fetched assumptions,
your silent acknowledgment,
your groundless guilt.
that everything,
every move just seems to don an extra inertia.

i fear a lot.
losing you.
that's where the contradiction lies.
the fault is on nobody,
just that courage left me
and insecurity sneaks in.

anyways,
life is too busy for distractions.
ncoc tmr!
and it'd be crazy mugging.
jiayou!:D